Read time: 3 minutes
When feelings run louder than words
Picture this: a young person sits in their room late at night, head full of racing thoughts. A small argument earlier in the day replays in loops. What began as a minor concern now feels overwhelming, like a wave that refuses to recede. They want to cry, but no one is around. They want to speak, but they fear being misunderstood. And so, in a moment of desperation, they turn pain into proof, etching it on their skin so at least their feelings feel real.
This is not an isolated story. In different corners of therapy rooms, in quiet pauses between words, I’ve seen the pattern emerge: when emotions are too heavy and no safe outlet is available, self-harm becomes a language of its own.
And it’s not just teenagers. Even adults, professionals, or overseas workers far from home carry emotions that they don’t know how to name. Some overeat, some lash out, others keep scrolling endlessly on their phones. For a few, the pain becomes physical, visible on their own skin.
Overthinking, overwhelm, and the hidden release
Many young people who self-harm are not wishing to end their lives. Instead, they are searching for relief. Overthinking floods the mind with “what ifs” until the body feels trapped. Self-harm offers a sharp, temporary escape, a way of saying, “My pain exists, even if no one else sees it.”
Many young people who self-harm are not wishing to end their lives. Instead, they are searching for relief. Overthinking floods the mind with “what ifs” until the body feels trapped. Self-harm offers a sharp, temporary escape, a way of saying, “My pain exists, even if no one else sees it.”
Why silence feels safer than speaking
Why not just tell someone? For many Filipinos, opening up about emotions feels risky. Homes echo with lines like “Huwag mag drama, okay lang yan” or “Move on na.” The intention is to comfort, but the effect is dismissal. Young people learn early that their deepest feelings might be misunderstood, judged, or even punished.
And so silence feels safer. But silence is also heavy. When emotions stay locked inside, the pressure builds until it finds another way out, often through harmful coping.
The bigger picture: what the data tells us
Research in the Philippines reveals the scope of the problem. In a national survey of high school students, nearly 1 in 4 reported a suicide attempt in the past year. Among university students in Manila, more than 1 in 4 reported engaging in non-suicidal self-injury, often starting around age 13. The most common methods included cutting, scratching, or punching themselves.
These are not just numbers. They are stories of young lives trying to carry more than they were ever taught to hold. They remind us that emotion regulation is not a luxury skill, it is a survival tool.
The question now is: if silence and self-harm are not the answer, where do we go from here?
To be continued in Part Two.
About the Author
Marianne Taladua is a Filipino psychologist with over 13 years of experience supporting individuals through depression, anxiety, burnout, trauma, and life transitions. Speaking Bisaya, Tagalog, and English, she offers a gentle, non-judging space where clients can unpack what’s weighing them down and find clarity, relief, and self-trust. For Marianne, therapy isn’t about quick fixes – it’s about truly listening so you can hear yourself again.
