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She sat in front of me on the screen, eyes looking down, her voice soft. “I hate my anxiety,” she said. “Parang parte ng sarili ko na gusto ko nang tanggalin.”
I let her words breathe before I replied. “What if your anxiety was like a friend? Hindi yung easygoing na kaibigan, pero yung tipong sobrang concern sa’yo na kahit hindi mo siya tinawag, andiyan na. Minsan maingay, minsan sobra sa timing, at madalas mas lalo pang gumugulo. But deep down, gusto ka lang niyang tulungan.”
She looked up, a little surprised. “So… hindi ko pala kailangan siyang tanggalin?” “Maybe not,” I said. “Maybe you can learn to talk to it, guide it, and decide when to listen.”
Anxiety: The Brain’s Built-In Alarm
In my work as a Filipino online therapist here in the Philippines, I’ve noticed how many people treat anxiety as an enemy to be defeated. But anxiety is actually part of our natural mental health system. It’s the brain’s built-in alarm, the amygdala, alerting us when something might be wrong. When it’s accurate, it can protect us. But like a smoke alarm that goes off even when you’re just making toast, it can also overreact. That’s when it becomes exhausting.
How Anxiety Shows Up in Daily Filipino Life
In the daily lives of many Filipinos, anxiety can show up in different ways, like not being able to sleep because you’re worrying about bills, feeling nervous at work because you’re afraid your boss might get upset, or repeatedly wondering if someone is angry at you even when there’s no clear reason. These moments can be exhausting, and without support, they can take over your thoughts and energy.
Working With Anxiety, Not Against It
In online therapy, I often encourage clients to work with their anxiety, not against it. Start by acknowledging it: “Okay, you’re here again. What are you trying to tell me?” Then check: Is there a real danger, or is my mind imagining one? If it’s real, take action. If it’s not, breathe and let it pass. Like that overzealous friend, you can set boundaries, appreciating their concern, but teaching them when and how they can truly help.
The more you see anxiety this way, the less it controls your day. It won’t disappear completely, but it also won’t dictate your every move. You learn when to listen and when to say, “Not now.”
Therapy as a Space for Quiet Shifts
Sometimes, after a session like this, I think about how much of therapy happens in these quiet shifts, when someone sees a part of themselves in a gentler light for the first time. It’s not always about having the perfect strategy or step-by-step plan. Oftentimes, it’s about meeting someone where they are, speaking in a way their heart understands, and watching them realize they can live with anxiety without losing themselves. And for me, that’s more than just work, it’s a calling. I’m grateful for the grace to witness these moments and to walk alongside people as they care for their mental health and rediscover their strength. 😊
About the Author
Marianne Taladua is a Filipino psychologist with over 13 years of experience supporting individuals through depression, anxiety, burnout, trauma, and life transitions. Speaking Bisaya, Tagalog, and English, she offers a gentle, non-judging space where clients can unpack what’s weighing them down and find clarity, relief, and self-trust. For Marianne, therapy isn’t about quick fixes – it’s about truly listening so you can hear yourself again.
