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Friendship is one of the most fulfilling aspects of life. While romantic relationships and family bonds are often prioritised, friendships play a powerful role in our overall well-being. Strong social connections have been linked to better mental health, increased longevity, and even greater resilience in the face of life’s challenges.

But if making friends and keeping them feels harder than it should, you’re not alone. Young adults, new parents, and working professionals around the world, especially in the Philippines, are dealing with this very struggle. Friends are essential for mental health, yet building and maintaining these relationships require time, intention, and effort.

This post will explore why making and keeping friends is so tough, the ways life gets in the way, and practical strategies for fostering strong social connections.

Why It’s Difficult to Make New Friends

Technology Changes How We Interact

Despite feeling connected through social media, many people find that these online interactions lack sincerity and depth. Technology has made staying in touch easier but forming genuine bonds harder. With so much emphasis placed on curated content, the vulnerability needed to build trust and friendship often gets lost.

Ironically, even though platforms like Instagram and Facebook are meant to keep us connected, many people report feeling lonelier. Virtual friends may not offer the same meaningful support as face-to-face connections.

Different Challenges for Different Demographics

Young Adults. Graduating from school often means losing a premade circle of friends. Adjusting to a new job or city, many find themselves wondering how and where to meet new people outside of college settings.

New Parents. Life with kids often means less time for socialising. Parents can feel isolated from their old friends, especially those who do not have children and don’t share the same daily challenges.

Working Professionals. The 9-to-5 grind (or longer!) doesn’t leave much room for nurturing relationships. Professional networking often prioritises career advancement rather than emotional support, leaving little room for authentic friendship.

Filipinos. Culturally described as some of the most social people in the world, you’d expect Filipinos to have no problem making friends. Yet the challenges of Overseas Filipino migration, balikbayan, and urbanisation disrupt traditional notions of tight-knit communities, often creating loneliness.

Why It’s Challenging to Keep Friends

Even if you’ve managed to make a few solid connections, maintaining those friendships is no easy task.

Life Transitions and Busy Schedules

Life gets busy. Career moves, relationships, marriage, parenthood, or relocating can pull friends apart. Staying in touch often falls to the bottom of the to-do list when life feels overwhelming.

Without regular communication, even the closest friendships can grow distant. No matter how strong the bond was initially, neglect will make the relationship falter.

The Effort Isn’t Mutual

Friendship is a two-way street. If one person consistently tries to maintain the relationship while the other stays distant, resentment may build. A lack of balance in effort can cause even long-standing friendships to dissolve over time.

Practical Tips to Make and Maintain Friendships

If making and keeping friends feels overwhelming, take heart, you’re not alone. These strategies can help you overcome hurdles and build lasting relationships.

How to Make Friends

1 – Seek Common Interests

Shared experiences provide a foundation for connection. Join a club, volunteer, take a class, or start attending events where you’ll meet like-minded people.

2 – Be Open and Approachable

Strike up conversations with colleagues, neighbours, or even fellow commuters. Small interactions can lead to deeper connections over time.

3 – Push Through Awkwardness

Meeting people can feel uncomfortable, especially at first. Accept that awkward moments are part of the process and focus on the value of potential new friendships.

4 – Leverage Shared Spaces

For Filipinos, this can mean connecting within church groups or community events. For professionals, it could be finding colleagues at work who share hobbies or interests.

How to Keep Friends

1 – Prioritise Communication

Even if life is busy, make time to send a quick message or voice note. Simple texts like “I thought of you today!” show you care.

2 – Schedule Friendship Catch-Ups

Set consistent dates for meetups, even if it’s just a virtual coffee chat. For parents, playdates with kids are an excellent way to integrate social time with responsibility.

3 – Invest in Quality Over Quantity

Instead of spreading yourself thin, focus on a few close friends. Deep connections carry more value than broad, surface-level acquaintances.

4 – Practice Active Listening

Friendships thrive on empathy. Be genuinely interested in your friend’s stories, worries, and successes. Listening builds trust and bond strength.

5 – Show Gratitude

Express appreciation for your friends regularly with a heartfelt thank you or kind gesture. Gratitude strengthens bonds and fosters positivity in relationships.

Why Friendships and Community Matter

Loneliness has been linked to various health problems, including depression and even heart disease. This is why forming and maintaining connections is crucial.

Benefits of Building Friendships and Community

Enhanced Mental Health. Strong relationships provide essential emotional support, reducing stress and boosting happiness.

A Bigger Safety Net. Friends offer guidance in tough times, whether that’s advice or just someone to lean on.

A Sense of Belonging. Being part of a community, whether it’s a book club, church group, or sports team, offers purpose and shared identity.

Friendships are not just about feeling connected, they also help you become your best self by surrounding you with support, accountability, and shared growth.

Your Friendship Starts Today

Making and keeping friendships may not happen overnight, but the rewards are worth every effort. By seeking genuine connections and showing up for the friends you already have, you can create a strong circle of support and love.

Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Whether you’re a young adult figuring out life, a working professional balancing endless tasks, or a Filipino navigating family separations, your connections are a vital part of who you are.

Take one small step toward a new friendship or reach out to a friend you haven’t spoken with in a while. Building friendships takes effort, but you’re not alone in the process.

Struggling to make or keep friends? You’re not alone. Friendships are essential for mental health and happiness, but they can also be challenging to maintain. If you’re feeling disconnected or unsure how to build stronger relationships, Pinoy Therapy is here to help.